Final Kickball-ology

Heading into the final week of play, Red Ball Sciences is proud to announce the last session of Kickball-ology. This session also includes the likely scenario of the Last Chance Dance for the those teams who were not able to squeeze into The Makers' Dozen. Here are the teams that solidified their spots into this mini tournament.

Last Chance Dance

Locks


Violet Femmes, Hash House Harriers, After School Specials, Multiple Scorgasms, Mataconchas  


The first three will not be able to participate in this coming week's games since they have ended their season in the bottom of their respected divisions. Also worth mentioning is the fact that all four teams have a combined run differential of -178 and a combined record of 1-1-30.

This is how the the Last Chance Dance would look like if the playoffs would've started today.

Aside from Group A, the top four spots from each division have been decided. Though there is still room for teams within Group B and C to climb or fall in the seedings, the following are the teams who have clinched a right to The Makers Dozen.

Locks


Confused Kixxx


This team has not only clinched a spot, but has also earned a straight shot into the Eight to Hate.

Warriors, Drunken Monkeyz, Shockers, Pitches B Crazy, Balls & Dolls, New Kicks on the Block, The Runs

All these team can rest assure that they will be in among The Makers Dozen. However, no one has clinched their seeding, therefore even the final bye spot is up for grabs. The Warriors can clinch it with either a win or a tie this coming week. The Balls & Dolls could take advantage of a Warriors loss in combination with a blow out win of their own this coming week and snatch the #2 spot.

Group A 


The LTA and Tu Sabes will clinch if they can come up with a win. The scenario can complicate itself if these both lose and 1 More Shot and Billy Bad Asses win their respected games. This would create a four-way tie but with only three available spots. 1 More Shot would benefit from this scenario since it currently has an unreachable run differential.

At Large

Billy Bad Asses

This team should not be so confident going into the final week because a poor performance combined with a good bubble team win could very well send them into the Last Chance Dance.

Bubble Teams

Kick N Da Balls, Beavers + Dolls, Red Hot Cherry Poppers


These guys need to win and win big. Only then could they make a strong argument for an At Large bid. A mediocre performance will line them up with the bottom of the barrel in the Ugly People Party....


If the post-season started today, this is what it would look like....

From Red Ball Sciences,

Newton’s Flaw

KickBall-ology

Angry Umpires Corner has always been more about what I think and less about hard facts or statistics. So when I was approached about a new type of posting that was more scientific, I was a little hesitant. Eventually I realized the benefits of such a post and decided to roll the dice. So the Angry-one is pleased to present a brand new edition to this crazy blog....

KickBall-ology is an attempt to mimic the SCK Ranking System, which appears to have been inspired by the BCS, and provide an idea on how the play-offs would look like if the season were to end today. The system is based on numerical statistics and no ‘true strength’ of team type of judgment. Such variable has yet to be integrated or even considered. Doesn’t seem fair? If the KickBall Gods have blessed your team with any type of talent, chances are your team will be in The Makers’ Dozen. Prove yourself there, and you will join the league’s Eight to Hate. Let’s start off with the Locks (or teams who have clinched):

 Locks

Confused Kixxx, Warriors, Shockers, New Kicks on the Block, and the Balls & Dolls

The first three have undoubtedly earned their Lock position, however, the latter two have benefited from a weaker division.

The LTA and Pitches B Crazy can clinch by picking up one more win in the next two remaining games. The rest of the batch is close as well, but scenarios are a bit more complex.

At Large

This spot goes to the team that did not end up in the top four of their division but are certainly a team that has proven themselves worthy of being called upon The Makers’ Dozen. This week’s deserving At Large might fall from grace the next. Shit, if things go their way this week, they might just Lock.

One More Shot

Bubble Teams

These are teams that should not be too comfortable in their current seeding and are thus living in post-season limbo. Best thing for them to do is to win, or fall at the mercy of an At Large plea.

Billy Badasses, Tu Sabes, Drunken Monkeyz, Kick N’ Da Balls, I’d Hit It, The Runs

Arithmetically Alive

These are teams who currently sit in the Last Chance Play-in Tournament, but still have a small glimmer of hope of making the Makers’ Dozen if they win the next two, and the Kickball Gods smile upon them. Long shots for sure, but at least they still have a shot.

Beavers + Balls, Red Hot Cherry Poppers

Key Match-Ups

Billy Badasses vs Tu Sabes

Unless MSG can upset One More Shot, the loser of this bout will be a step closer to having its bubble popped.

Pitches B Crazy vs Drunken Monkeyz

A must win for the Monkeyz. My only question is, can the Pitches continue their impressive run?
 
Here's what the chase for the crown would look like if it started today...

From Red Ball Sciences, 

Newton’s Flaw

Clash of the Titans

Monkeyz vs Warriors

Champions thrive under pressure and everyone else breaks like a twig. The game between the Warriors and Drunken Monkeys was so intense that I could swear Rich had pit stains! I knew coming in that this game would be an instant classic, I was not disappointed to say the least. Wednesdays Clash of the Titans left many fans, including yours truly, in awe! On this hot muggy night I witnessed some the finest teams SCK has to offer. It was truly a sight to behold. There was excitement, drama and even some comedy.
Everyone loves some excitement so ill start there. This back and forth battle was truly epic. The Warriors quickly jumped out to an early 1-0 lead, that was quickly answered by the Drunken Monkeyz as they went up 2-1 for most of the game. I was really impressed how the Warriors kept their cool though. They didn't panic and acted like they had been there before. It didn't matter how many base runners the opposing team had, they were like a wall all night. And when it really mattered they rose to the occasion and played even better. When everything was said and done, the Warriors dropped the champs like the Warriors were the reigning champions, 4-3.
Nobody likes a drama queen, but Rich was in rare form that night! The self proclaimed X-factor kept pouting all during the game till finally he showed a sign of weakness. He started to wine like a little girl that had just lost her favorite jump rope. All night he tried extremely hard to keep his composure while his team fell apart around him, but like a rookie he eventually folded. I really don't blame the guy, his team really let him down. Their defense brought back disturbing memories of LTA from seasons past. Like true contenders the Warriors took advantage of every single miscue by the Monkeyz. They kept pressing and pressuring the defending champs till  they finally burst at the seems! Either way the Warriors are no joke and a true contender for the crown. If it wasn't for their mouths I would jump on the Warriors band wagon, but they are very good and they know it. I over heard one of their players say,"We don't lose to anyone and I'll put that on paper!" WTF!! You serious?? I hope and pray that these clowns go down hard! The only question is....Is any one up to the task??
And now for my favorite part, the comedy. Their entire team kept dropping the kickball like the balls were hot. Becky, the Monkeyz 1st base woman, kept running around the field like a chicken with its head cut off. This chick couldn't tell if she was coming or going. She looked like she was high from all those Scentsys she keeps peddling to everyone. But by far my favorite act had to be Mr Left Fielder. This dude can take his act on the road and make a killing! I don't know if the sun was in his face, they played at 9pm, or maybe he had pink eye, but this guy looked like he was juggling out there! What is up with that?? I've seen him play a few times and Mr LF is usually solid, but on this night he might have been better of staying at home. Overall, the Monkeyz defense looked more like a circus than the punishing D that I was accustomed to from last season.
Overall this game was very entertaining. It had its high points as well as some very low points, but all in all I'm glad I got to witness this thriller! Maybe next time the champs can get their shit together and take down the cocky ass Warriors and beat them like I do my "monkey"!
STRIKE 3 IM OUT

This is what I think, I think....

I never claimed to be a leading authority in Kick N Da Balls, but I thought I'd take One More Shot and predicting this weeks games. I wouldn't be Shocked if I bombed again and got only 1 of the games right. Hopefully I can predict The Runs correctly to one of the games. That would be Totally Awesome! Maybe like some of these Wednesdays Warriors, I'll finally Hit It out of the park....

The BIG BAD teams at Jimmy O
Tu Sabes-3
One More Shot-6

Multiple Scoregasms-7
After School Specials-2

Los Totally Awesomes-5
Billy Badasses-2

Modesto 2
Hash House Harriers-1
Shockers-9

Kick N' Da Balls-3
Pitches B Crazy-6

Drunken Monkeyz-2
Warriors-4

Modesto 1
The Runs-5
I'd Hit It-3

Red Hot Cherry Poppers -6
Beavers + Balls-1

Violet Femmes-0
Balls & Doll-5

Is Sun City Kickball Fair??

Writing a blog is hard work. But writing a kickball blog is even tougher. Coming up with new fresh ideas on weekly basis is like pitching and kicking at the same time. I usually rely on the games that I head umpire for most of my content, but who in their right minds wants to read a blog about the overrated New Kicks on the Block and the Joke of a team AKA the Violet Femmes?? I sure as hell don't and that's why I won't waste the few brain cells that I still have on that garbage of a game. Instead I want to take look at Sun City Kickball as a league.
The Commish and the all mighty “board” have worked hard together in an effort to create a kickball utopia. They have put in countless hours organizing and promoting Sun City Kickball. After all their hard work, I would have to say that all they have accomplished to built is an average league. Don’t get me wrong. I love everything about SCK except the teams. SCK is like a bosomy chick, it is way to top heavy. The fun clubs or non competitive teams make up over 75% of the current teams. That means that for this season only about 5 maybe 6 squads will have a legitimate shot at the crown. I don’t know about the rest of you, but I see that as unacceptable! There is just no way to get up for the bottom dwellers on a week to week basis. Last week my Shockers played the Warriors and even though we lost, I had a blast. The game was intense and that is feeling that I just don’t get when we play the sucky teams. SCK should really look into a more balanced system that rewards competition. I know that the SCK has no control over who joins their association, but pounding the weak teams is not the solution either.
I think the wins should be weighed accordingly. For example, if you beat the super group, Confused Kixx, you should be rewarded in some way. Maybe with some extra power ranking points or with an extra ½ win, because there is no way that beating the Scoregasms should count as much as beating a quality opponent! A new system is the only fair thing to do. While some teams like New Kicks and Balls & Dolls get fat whooping on all the scrubs, teams like The Monkeys and Warriors have to deal with far superior opponents. A change must take place soon, in order the crate the perfect kickball society. If it only were so simple....I guess I can only dream!!

CRAZY ASS WEEK 4

I usually try and stay away from predictions; I leave those up to Mr. Happy Go Lucky over at ITSJUSTKICKBALL. But this week has 3 contests that really caught my eye!
Confused Kixx VS Tu Sabes
We all know about the big bad Power Rangers and their super team! As expected they’ve crushed all the inferior opponents, but they did seem to struggle against One More Shot before pulling away late. Was that game an aberration or will they struggle again when they go up against quality competition?? I’ve been dying to find out and lucky for me Tu Sabes seems up to the challenge! Can they pull the upset?? Hell no! These are The Power Rangers we’re talking about. But it should be allot of fun. Who ever UMPS this game will have a dandy on their hands.
Confused Kixx-7 Tu Sabes 4

KNDBLS VS Drunken Monkeys
One of these teams is a pretender and this is the type of game that will expose them as frauds. The KNDBLS crew is coming off a lack luster effort against the Shockers. That or the Shockers are the Monsters that Rich wants to portray them as. Either way they are going to have to play a lot better to hang with the defending chumps….I mean champs! As for the Monkeys, some peeps might want to say they’re back after scoring runs in bunches against the Mataconchas. But come on people, Evil Aldo could score against this second…no wait third rate team like they were a 2 dollar hooker! So blowing out a below average team gets you no brownie points on this blog. With all that being said, I think the Crew will finally stick a fork in the defending champs because they are done!!
KNDBLS- 6 Drunken Monkeys-5

GAME OF THE WEEK

Shockers VS Warriors
Now this game right here, might be the best of the bunch. The Shockers are flying high after a 3-0 start and seem to be in cruise control. The Warriors on the other hand have to be the rustiest team in SCK. They played Pitches Be Crazy, a rookie team, the first week of the season and barely squeaked by. Then they had a bye, followed by what probably seemed like another bye week after the gutless HHH decided to pull a no show. So that’s 1 game in three weeks. Will it even matter once game time comes around…probably not, but one thing that’s for sure is that this has to be the game of the week!! Everyone should check it out; they play at 9 at Modesto 2.
Shockers-7 Warriors-3

DISGRACEFUL!

Unfortunately for me I had no game to umpire this week. I was really looking forward to gauging for myself where the Hash House Harriers rank among the kickball upper echelon. What I didn’t count on was the HHH punking out like a four eyed geek getting his lunch money stolen! They have to be the sorriest team this side of the Thursday night league. How heartless do you have to be to only send a representative to cancel your game? Not only that, but at least give a good excuse. Just in case you haven’t heard, these cowards were at Coconuts drinking and when they found out they were going to be short on players they decided to stay put and get shit faced!! I just think they were short on guts and not players. If I was the Warriors coach I would be furious!! Who pulls that kinda crap?? How many of us have been short on occasion, but still showed up to the park hoping to get enough players to get the game started. The HHH are same people that were clamoring for respect after their stupid tie against the Monkeys. Seriously?? I wonder how the Monkeys feel about that tie now, because if you ask me the HHH are the biggest joke to ever come out of Sun City Kickball! The commish should seriously consider banning them or at least suspending them for a game, because all their actions have proven is that they are nobody to be recon with and they are a total and utter laughing stock. At least we all know now why they wear skirts, huh……because they all have no sack!